🚨🪱👀 "Breaking News: Flesh-Eating Screwworms Are the New Trendy Travel Accessory!" 🌍✈️ So, buckle up, folks! We're not talking about a cute little souvenir from your trip to El Salvador—NOPE. We're diving straight into NIGHTMARE FUEL territory! 😱💀 Some poor soul brought back flesh-eating screwworm larvae like they were the latest viral TikTok dance move. 😬🕺 According to Andrew Nixon, the spokesperson for the US Department of Health and Human Services, the CDC is on a *serious* glow-up alert since August 4th. Like, fr fr? Screwworms are a hard pass on the travel checklist! ✋💼 **Imaginary Quotes:** *Dev 1:* “Dude, what was their carry-on? A bag of freakin’ larvae?” 🤨 *Dev 2:* “Their idea of a souvenir is literally eating YOU alive! This is fine??? 🤡” If you’re sitting in Maryland right now, you’re basically a front-row seat to the horror show’s opening night! 📺👻 Stonks for the flesh-eating parasite market are about to skyrocket! 📈💰 So, here's my unhinged prediction: by 2025, influencer culture will be dominated by those who flaunt their flesh-eating friends like pet rocks! 🪨🔥 #ScrewwormChic Time to pack your bags and prepare for the apocalypse! 👾🚀💅