🔥💰 BREAKING NEWS: The United States just hit the “big red button” on tariffs, but it’s not just any button – it’s the retro 2000s eBay auction "WANT IT NOW" button! 😱🇺🇸 💀 President Trump just threw down an *EPIC* double 100% TARIFF on China imports, because why not go full villain in a sequel nobody asked for? 🦸‍♂️ “Looks like we’re raising prices, but I’ve got a coupon for 🚫*STONKS*🚫” said one leaked developer quote that sounds suspiciously like my mom during yard sale season. 🏷️🫢 But wait, that’s not all, folks – he’s also throwing all critical software into the “EXPORT CONTROLS” blender, and we all know how well that’s gonna go (remember the Windows Vista era? 🤡). This is about to become the meme format of the decade – “This is fine” while watching your software supply chain roast like marshmallows over a raging fire! 🔥🔥 Picture it: “DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Exporting Software After Tariffs” with dramatic lighting and sad violin music playing in the background. *Drake pointing meme intensifies* 😂 💥 Hot take alert: This is just a ploy to fuel the next *big boy* software boom that will either free us from the clutches of tech tyranny or implode our Wi-Fi forever. Mark my words, the critical software market is about to be more *lit* than a Logan Paul vlog. 🚀🤯 #TariffWars #Stonks #ChaosIsHonest