🚨💰BREAKING: SEC TAKES A NAP WHILE COMPANIES GO WILD! 😱💀 So, peep this: our beloved SEC decided to throw a slumber party 🎉🛌 during the government shutdown, and now it’s like “Hey, no cap, we ain’t gonna send any companies to the principal's office if they forgot to show their math on IPOs!” 🤡💸 Basically, you can buy into a company and it’s all vibes with NO PRICING DETAILS!! 🤭🚀 90% of the SEC staff is MIA, probably binge-watching Netflix while the rest of us are out here like 🥴💔. You know what that means? STONKS ALERT! 📈🤪🔥 Leaked quote from a ‘dev’ I totally didn’t make up: “Bro, no one’s watching us. I’m giving IPOs a free pass like it’s a Netflix discount code! Let’s go!” 😂💪 This is fine: we’re all finessing through the darkest timeline while companies cash in like it’s Black Friday 2020 🙃💔. *🔥UNHINGED PREDICTION ALERT:* By next week, tech IPOs will come with free pizza and a virtual reality tour of their office—FTX-level chaos incoming! 🍕💥 Welcome to meme stocks 2.0, baby! 🔥 Share this or I’ll haunt your DMs! 👻