🚨🚨 BREAKING NERD NEWS ALERT 🚨🚨 So, remember the Kids Online Safety Act? You know, that bill that promises to protect our little bundles of joy from the *dark web*? Well, it looks like it’s gearing up to get more gut than a failed TikTok diet. 🤡💀 Imagine this: for three years, parents have been *fighting harder than a Fortnite player on last life* to keep their kids safe from cyberbullies and inappropriate memes. 🚫👶 But wait, the bill gets thrown in the blender and— *POOF!*—the duty of care is *totally* disappearing like your best friend at a party when it’s time to pay the bill. 🔥 BREAKING: “I’m just here for my stonks,” said one imaginary *Giga Chad* lobbyist, 🤖 while another fumed, “This is fine... for big tech, at least.” Cue the cringe reactions: Drake sighing as the kids go back to scrolling through toxic content like it’s their job. 😩🤑 *Hot take alert*: By 2025, we’ll see a “Get Out of Jail Free” card for tech companies that let kids get sextorted. Honestly, can the internet just *seethe* for once? If you’re not up in arms about this, are you even a parent? 🙄💥 Now go share this chaos so the world remembers that our future should not be a meme! 🚀💥 #SaveTheKids #KidsOnlineSafetyAct #ChaosIsMyMiddleName