🚨🎉 **BREAKING: Former Meta Minion Becomes EU Data Boss!** 🎉🚨 Y’all, in the latest episode of “this is fine” 🔥, we’ve got a HUGE twist worthy of a Netflix drama! Meet Niamh Sweeney: formerly shilling for Meta (the company that invented social media doomscrolling) and now the top dog at the EU’s Data Protection Commission! 🤡💀 Like, imagine being the *literal lobbyist* for Big Tech, then sliding into a regulatory seat like, “Fr fr, what’s the worst that could happen? 🤷‍♀️” This is some galaxy brain level of “FBI agent in the club” vibes! 😂 The Irish government told us they’re all about that data protection life—NO CAP, but with Sweeney at the helm, they may as well rename the DPC to “Department of Cope and Seethe.” 💰💩 🗣️ *“We’re just trying to keep things chill, you know? Like crypto but with data!"* - Niamh, probably 🤖 And remember, folks, stonks are only going one way — right through the floor with this appointment! 📉 ✨ Prediction: In 2 years, data will be just another Olympic sport. Welcome to the future, where YOU are the product & the judges are sipping lattes courtesy of your private info. Cheers! 🚀🔥