🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: Gavin Newsom is on a mission to make sure we aren't giving toddlers access to Twitter! 😂💀 So this dude just slapped down AB 1043, a LAW that says device makers (y’all remember those? Yeah, the people who made your overpriced smartphone that’s basically a $1,000 diary) have to CHECK YOUR AGE before you download ANOTHER app that’ll suck your soul dry. And guess who's chilling with him on this wild ride? Google, Meta, and OpenAI! 🤖✨ They’re like, “Yeah, we might surveil your every move, but at least we won't let little Timmy order a Hentai game!” 🤡🔥 Leaked convo: 👨‍💻 Google Dev: "We’re totally on board! Protect kids!" ✌️ Meta Dev: "But can we still collect their data? Asking for a friend." 🤔 👾 OpenAI: “Here’s a fun fact: Even kids shouldn’t be exposed to AI-generated cat memes.” 🐱💼 This is *SOME* next-level stonks move, but fr fr, is Aunt Karen gonna drop her TikTok dancing career just because some algorithms say her kid is 12? 😱👀 Ultimate prediction? Kids will just start lying about their age like they're trying to buy beer. 🚀🍻 It’s gonna be an age-wars revolution! This is fine. 💣💥