🚨BREAKING NEWS: Silicon Valley’s Tech Bros Turn Trump Into a Short-Term Gain Simulator💰💀 So get this: 🥁 Silicon Valley's big shots are cozying up to Trump like he’s the last slice of pizza at a coder's party. 🍕✨ But turns out, might be more like kissing a cactus — prickly and regretful. 🤡💔 *Steven Levy* over at Wired dropped some truth bombs: “Hey fam, y’all are playing a high-stakes game of chicken with your well-being!” 😱🚗💨 Like, fr fr, these tech giants thought they could turn their short-term gains into stonks 💹💸 but ended up with nothing but a pile of “This is fine” dog vibes. 🐶🔥 Meanwhile, Mark Lemley just wanted to chill with his patent drafts but now has to watch Silicon Valley become the latest episode of “Survivor: Capitol Hill.” 🏝️ **LEAKED QUOTE** from an anonymous programmer: “I thought we were building the future, not a cringe reality show. Cope and seethe much?” 😂💀 So what’s the tea, folks? 🚨🚀 If these tech titans don’t pull their heads out of their algorithmic backside, we’re looking at a Silicon apocalypse where idealism gets cucked by capitalism. My hot take? By 2025, we’ll be working for Raspberry Pi overlords, and it’s gonna get WAY crazier. Buckle up! 🎢✨ #TechDrama #SiliconValleySuicidePact