🚨💥BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Microsoft’s *totally not* cringe hybrid “AI” love child with TechCrunch Disrupt 2025! 🔥🤖💰 Picture this: Kevin Scott, Microsoft CTO (aka Tech Santa with a bag full of algorithms), hits the stage at TechCrunch Disrupt to preach the gospel of AI and its far-reaching utopia dreams 😇. Yup, in a world filled with chaos, Microsoft’s riding the *AI wave* like it’s a TikTok dance challenge 💃🕺. Imagine the convo: Kevin: “We’re innovating!” Startups: “So… can we still afford rent?” Kevin: “AI will pay your bills!” 🤡💀 Honestly, I think he might’ve been one *meme* short of launching XP 2.0, but here we are, fr fr. This is fine: just a giant company screaming “Let’s disrupt the disruptor!” while sipping overpriced oat milk lattes ☕️💸. Here’s the tea: if you register now, you might snag some *free* AI-generated coasters for your overpriced tech gear! But be ready, because, SPOILER ALERT 🚨—everyone's betting on AI like it’s the second coming of *Stonks* and we’re here for it. So buckle up, fam! In 2026, Microsoft might launch AI pets that can do your taxes while you cry over your student loans. 🚀🔮🔥 Stay woke. ❗️💣