🔥🚨 *BREAKING NEWS: Kido Kinderhack Crisis* 🚨🔥 So, y’all, my morning latte just got spilled all over the keyboard because the UK’s precious Kido nursery chain just got RANSOMED by a squad called RADIANT. Yes, I said RADIANT. Sounds like a mediocre superhero team but instead, they’re out here dropping *child profiles* like it’s the latest TikTok trend. 🤡💀 10 kids’ profiles are just chilling online for the world to see because these digital dingleberries wanna get paid! 💰💰 The criminals are like, “We’ll leak MORE unless you pay up!” Like, bro, can we just get a refund on common sense? 🤦‍♂️ For real, Kido execs must be sitting down like Drake pointing to their previous cybersecurity investments, which were obviously 0 stonks. 📉🤢 *Imaginary Kido employee quote*: “I’d rather deal with toddlers throwing crayons than hackers leaking kids’ profiles, fr fr.” This is fine: 🔥💩 Hot take: NEXT thing we know, we’ll be having baby profiles traded on the dark web like Pokémon cards. “I’ll give you a Squirtle for fact that Timmy loves broccoli!!” 🤖🚀 In conclusion: 🔮 If you haven’t switched to IRL babysitter apps by now, GOOD LUCK! 👀💀 Share this madness before it leaks!