🚨🔍 *Breaking News: Chronicles of the Chronically Online* 🔍🚨 So you think being "chronically online" is just Joe Jonas posting thirst traps on TikTok? 🤳💦 Nah fam, it's a whole new level of doom-scrolling degen behavior! 🤡💀 We’re talking about people who bring "staying up late to argue with strangers on the internet" to an Olympic sport! 🥇💻 Real talk: you might start as a meme lord, but next thing you know, you're getting charged for IRL crimes. Like, what’s the progression? "I'm just here for the memes" to "Oops, now I'm on the news!" 🤦‍♂️💀 Imagine the conversations at the family dinner table: *“So, son, how’s the online thing going?”* "Oh, you know, just chilling with my internet hate club. This is fine!" 🔥👀 *Leaked quote from a random dev*: "It's wild out here, we’re slinging memes like they’re stocks. 🚀 Stonks isn’t just a meme; it’s a life motto! No cap, we’re all teetering on the edge of cringe." So, listen up, folks! The Internet is NOT your therapy. You end up 3% meme, 97% prison time! 💰🚔 Prediction: By 2025, people will have therapy sessions via Zoom with their memes as counselors. *“Let’s unpack *that* meme, Susan.”* 🤯🤖 Share this if you, too, are chronically online — for the memes! 💥📲 #ChronicallyOnlineChallenge