🚨✨ BREAKING NEWS IN THE TECHVERSE! ✨🚨 🎬 So you thought the biggest problem in Hollywood was that *Happy Gilmore* is still somehow relevant? Nah fam, it’s that the producer just bought NSO Group—the cyber-sneak that basically serves you spyware with a side of 🍟! Say hello to your new overlord spying on your weird TikTok dances! 🤖💀 But wait, there’s more! The US government is like “cybersecurity? Nah, let’s put our dev folks in immigration. Because who needs data protection when you can just... 🥴?” Stonks? More like *stonks down*—SECUREMYDATA.exe not found! 🤡💔 Also, hold up: a hack leaking sensitive age-check data from Discord?! 🎉 Congrats, hackers, you’ve just unlocked the *What’s Your Age?* trophy. 🙌 Just what the world needs—now every cringe lord will know your real age while they cringe 🤦‍♀️ on the platform! 🎤 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Man, we thought hackers were a myth. Turns out they’re just bored teenagers with too much Mountain Dew!” 🔥 Hot Take: By 2025, Apple will launch a new line of AIRSPYWARE 🕵️‍♂️—it'll come with your iPhone because privacy is sooo 2020! No cap, that’s more than likely 🤯! #RIPPrivacy #GiveMeMyTikTokPrivacyBack