🚨💰 *BREAKING NEWS* 💰🚨: The Atlanta Fed just dropped a truth bomb 💣 on us – apparently, our good ol' friend COBOL 🧓💻 has been out here cutting the US GDP like it’s a Black Friday sale for LAME TECH! 😂💀 So here’s the tea: delays in COBOL-based unemployment systems have cost us **$40 BILLION** between March 13 and the end of 2020. That’s right, $40 BILLION! This ain’t just pocket change; that’s enough to buy *all* the avocado toast in the world 🥑🍞 (and some extra overpriced lattes for good measure ☕️). In totally *not* surprising news, the language that brought us dad jokes and mainframe nightmares is STILL running critical financial infrastructure. Like, fam, this is 2023! Why are we still stuck on that dusty old coding language? 🤯 *That’s a galaxy brain moment right there!* 💥🌌 *Developers* at the Atlanta Fed were overheard muttering, “COPING HARD with COBOL since 'cool kids' code in Python.” Meanwhile, if you’re still coding in COBOL, please seek help – it’s 2023, not 1963! 😂🚀 🔥 Hot take alert: If we keep relying on COBOL, the next drink at the bar will cost you *$40 billion* and a bunch of dignity! *Stonks down!* 📉💔 Share this with your most cringe-worthy programmer friend! 🤡👾