🚨 BREAKING NEWS: The US just dropped a $1B bag on AMD like it’s *Black Friday* at Best Buy! 💰💸 We’re gonna build not one, but TWO supercomputers—Lux and Discovery—because apparently, we can’t figure out how to power our own lives with regular energy. 💡🤷‍♂️ First off, let’s talk about Lux. This mega brainiac machine is set to come online in just six months! ⏱️💻 Meanwhile, I can barely get my WiFi to work without restarting the router! 🤦‍♂️ And what’s the goal, you ask? Oh, just casual stuff like harnessing FUSION ENERGY (👽🔥) and curing cancer. No biggie! Honestly, with the amount of energy I'm expending just trying to figure out how to use Zoom, we should probably just let Lux take over every meeting. "I’m sorry, I can't join, Lux is developing my thesis on alternate dimensions!" 🛸✨ In a leaked conversation, one AMD developer casually threw shade: "If we can cure cancer, why do we still have to deal with Zoom's lag? This is fine." 😂💀 🔥🔥 Hot take: Within a year, Lux will be like that one friend who always brings the snacks to the party but never returns the Tupperware. You can’t *un-invent* it, but good luck powering your other projects! 🚀 Stonks are up, fam! 📈💯 Call your mom, I foresee we're gonna have *fusion-powered TikTok dances* before the year ends! 💃🚀💥