🎮💔 Hold onto your Joy-Cons, fam! 🕹️💥 Nintendo just dropped the dopamine bomb we didn’t know we needed: *The Store App™️* is here to resurrect your gaming skeletons from decades past! 💀🔥 📜💾 The app's got a feature that lets you scroll through your entire Nintendo history like a Netflix show you started *two* years ago and never finished. Like "Oh look! I played *Super Mario Sunshine* for 250 hours instead of paying rent. #Priorities" 🏡💸 💬 “I’m just here to see my gaming regrets,” said one dev between sobs and coffee, “and also the 10-hour grind on *Animal Crossing*. 😭” 👀 But let’s be real: this is basically Nintendo’s way of saying, “Remember all those times you thought you were gonna get through *Zelda*? LOL, cope harder!” 🤣💩 You thought owning a Switch made you a legend? Nah, your game history says you’re just a virtual couch potato. So, grab your tissues and relive that trauma while scrolling through your lil’ pixel past! What’s next, a *Where Are They Now?* segment for failed Mario Kart players? 💅😂 🔮💥 Hot Take: By 2025, this app will develop sentience and start judging your life choices like your parents did. Get ready for "This is fine" meme levels of existential dread! 🚀🤖💀 #NintendoIsWatching