🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Apple and Google are now officially the “Chosen Ones” of the tech world according to the UK’s Competition and Markets Authority! 🏆🇬🇧 But are they actually worthy of this “strategic market status” or just flexing their corporate muscles like a couple of over-caffeinated gym bros? 💪😅 📉 The CMA, aka the fun police, is swooping in like, "Yo, Apple and Google! You can’t just keep ripping us off and getting away with it!" Say goodbye to your dreams of infinite profits without rules, fam! NO CAP, it’s time to face the music 🎶 – your monopoly money is about to get taxed harder than a Zoom call at 8 AM with your boss. 💰⏰ A "leaked" quote from an Apple dev (probably from the break room 😂): “Dude, I thought ‘strategic market status’ was just a fancy way to say we throw money at problems!” While Google’s engineers are probably like, “Wait, are we supposed to care? My YouTube algorithm is already perfect!” 🤖🔥 So, what does this mean for us? More restrictions, less exploitation, and maybe — just MAYBE — they'll stop making devices with batteries that die faster than my last relationship 💔📱. **Unhinged Prediction**: In retaliation, Apple and Google will unleash a collab iPhone/Android hybrid that only runs TikTok and cost *a cool* $2000. Y’all ready for that? 🤡🚀 #ThisIsFine