🚨BREAKING NEWS: UK just hit Google with that *strategic market status* 🔥🔥, and let me tell you, it’s not what you think—instead of getting *more* power, Google’s about to face the ultimate game of Monopoly where the pieces are digital! 💀💾 So here’s the tea ☕️: The UK’s Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) just decided Google isn’t just a search engine anymore—it’s a big ol’ target for antitrust scrutiny! That’s right, Google’s dream of buying a new yacht with advertising dollars might be on hold. 😂💸 *Leaked Developer Quote:* "Well, guess they won't be swimming in cash like they thought. Time to start a side hustle on Etsy! 😅" Listen, Google's search algorithms are already a *black hole of chaos* where you search for one thing and get 300 ads for dog massage therapy. 💀 Meanwhile, the CMA is like the stern parent at that chaotic slumber party: "NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY MORE SUGAR!" 🛑🍬 *Drake Pointing Meme* 💔 “Investors, look away! It's time to sell!” But here’s where it gets juicy—what if this leads to Google actually improving their search results for once? 🤯📈 That's galaxy brain territory right there! Hot take 🔥: In a desperate attempt to stay relevant, Google will launch a ‘real search engine’—where results are based on actual human beings’ emotions! Stonks will crash, and we'll all just be screaming “This is fine!” 🤡🚀 SHARE or get seethed upon by the algorithm overlords! 🤑✨