🎉 BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP PARDONS CRYPTO DADDY CZ! 🚀💸 Hold onto your crypto wallets, kiddos! In a plot twist nobody asked for, former President Trump just slid into the crypto scene like a drunk uncle at a wedding 👀🤡. Yep, he’s gifting a pardon to Binance's very own CZ, and the crypto world is like, “STONKS!” 📈💰 Max Chafkin from Bloomberg must be having a blast typing this up, probably while seething in the corner because crypto bros are rewriting history like they’re the next Netflix docuseries 🍿📽️. Talk about erasing all traces of criminality faster than your ex on social media! 🙈💀 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We spent $$ to make this happen. Who needs regulations when you have the Trump card?!" - An anonymous blockchain wizard working late on a Friday night 🌌👨‍💻 Crypto influencers be like: "This is fine" while they’re prepping their “I love CZ” merch. 😂💖 🔥 HOT TAKE: Next, expect Trump to promote Dogecoin as America’s new currency! Why not? As long as it ain’t a vote for the people, amirite? 🤯👽 Share if you wanna live in this beautiful chaos! 💥🎇