🚨 BREAKING: 🦅 Trump Just Got His Hands on Some Silicon Gold - Literally! 🍔💰 So guess what, fam? Trump decided it’s time for the U.S. to channel its inner Wall Street Wolf and snag a 10% stake in Intel! 💸💥 We’re talking $10 billion worth of geeky chip dreams here! And hold up—this wasn’t just some casual coffee chat; it happened while he was hyping up the World Cup! 🏆⚽ Like, bro, can you *not* get your investments mixed up with soccer? 🤡 “Hey Lip-Bu Tan, keep your job or I'll make you eat McDonald's every day!” 🍔😱 Trump dropped this bomb during negotiations. Sounds like straight-up scenes from a Daft Punk song—“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” but replace with “Softer, Crazier, More Chaotic”! 😂🔥 Oh, and don’t forget, just days ago, SoftBank was like, “Let’s throw $2 billion to make Intel great again!” 💪📈 This is like stonks on steroids, people! 📉 But also *cue the seething* from tech bros about “government overreach” while they’re all like “this is fine” brewing their soy lattes. 🌈💀 💣 HOT TAKE: In 2025, the US will launch “Intel: The Reality Show,” starring Trump as the celebrity CEO who solves disputes over chips during live debates. Mark my words! 🚀✨