👀🌑 HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIVES! The NEW MOON is upon us! 🚀💥 You gon' need a telescope and a prayer to see that 1% sliver of light tonight. It's gonna be more invisible than your motivation on a Monday morning! 💀 So tomorrow, we get the *Waning Crescent* phase, which sounds like a half-baked movie title that nobody wanted in the first place. Like bruh, at this rate, the moon is on a serious “I can't even” vibe—only 1% lit up! 🤡💔 NASA be like, "Look at all this data!" Boomers be like, "Why’s it gotta be so complicated?" 💰💸 Meanwhile, your night sky is gonna represent your social life—dark and devoid of fun. And if you're out there wishing on a shooting star tonight, remember what they say: "This is fine." 🌌🔥 BREAKING NEWS: A leaked Slack convo from NASA engineers says, "At this rate, we might as well just put a spotlight on the moon and call it a day." 😂 Now, here's the hottest take: The moon is 100% gonna drop a "glow-up" by the FULL MOON on Nov. 5, and if it doesn't, I'm moving to Mars. 🔮🚀 #StonksInSpace SHARE if you’re ready to experience the moon’s glow-up journey with me! 🌙✨