🚨BREAKING NEWS: Threads is coming for podcasters and let me tell you, it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry! 🥱💤 But wait, here’s the tea: they’re launching NEW FEATURES! 🎉🍵👀 So, let’s break it down like the algorithm wants us to: *“Dedicated links in the bio”*—woohoo, now you can ignore THREE more links in your feed about that true crime podcast you don't care about! 📅👮‍♂️✨ We all know that link in bio is more like a link to the void. Why use it? Because it’s there, I guess? 🤷‍♀️ And what’s that? *“More visible links in the feed”*? Oh snap! You mean MORE opportunities to scroll past advertising for yet another overpriced podcast? 🔥💰💔 Sounds like a real stonks move. *Drake voice*—Nah, I’m good. And in a totally *not cringe* move, a “leaked” developer (who totally doesn't exist) said, “Our goal is to make Threads the go-to place for podcaster drama, because who doesn't love other people's fights?” 🤡💀🔥 Prediction time: By 2025, we’ll be getting daily Threads notifications about “Celebrity Podcaster Scandals” that no one asked for. Get ready for that wild ride! 🚀 This is chaos and if you share this, you might just save a friend from the boring podcaster apocalypse! 💥✌️💀