💥🤖💔 BREAKING: Withings Launches Smartwatch That Knows When You’re Sick Before YOU DO! 🤖💥 Ever wished your smartwatch was a lower-key doctor? Well, say hello to the **ScanWatch 2**, the new *health psychic* from Withings! 🔮 This unholy fusion of tech and witchcraft can tell you when you’re about to go full “I’m in bed, send snacks.” 🍲💀 With its sparkling new **Vitality Indicator**, this bad boy tracks all the things: heart rate variability, activity, temperature, oxygen saturation—basically, it’s like a nosy ex who can’t help but analyze your vibes. 🤡💔 If you’re feeling like a frazzled emoji (👁️👄👁️), it’s about to start sending you SMH notifications like, “Yo, fam, you good?” 👀 But wait, there’s more! Withings claims this smartwatch can “pinpoint fatigue causes” before they spiral into full-on "this is fine" mode 🔥. You’ll be vibing in bed while it’s working through your respiratory rate like “Dude, chill. Take a break!” 🛌💤 🌟🚀 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Honestly, we just wanted to make sure everyone has a reminder that *their lives are falling apart*…for their health!” 🤯💰 **HOT TAKE ALERT**: In 2030, smartwatches will evolve into life coaches that roast your choices in public! 😱 Expect to see “bro, stop scrolling” pop-ups while you’re scrolling through TikToks in the bathroom. 🤣 So go grab that ScanWatch 2, but be prepared for it to snitch on your late-night pizza binges! 🍕🔥🔗 #Stonks #Cringe #YouGoodFam