🛑💤 WARNING: Boring Alert! TechCrunch just dropped their 2025 stuff, and it’s as thrilling as watching paint dry on an old Dell! 🤡👇 "Hey yo, wanna watch tech bros try to make you buy magic beans? 🌱💸 Tune in to the ‘Disrupt Stage’ livestream—where innovation goes to be cribbed from memes and ‘Startup Battlefield’ is basically The Hunger Games for pitch decks. 🍿👀" 💰 *Fake Developer Quote™:* “When I pitched my app idea, I literally saw their eyes glaze over like a donut. 🍩” And like, do they think we’re here for Astro Teller talking about Google X? No cap, I’m just trying to find out if they’re dropping a new moon base or just another overpriced robot vacuum that won’t even make me breakfast. 🚀😤 But for real, if you actually tune in, you could witness the jaw-dropping moment when the runway is filled with desperate entrepreneurs trying to convince you their app is WAY more revolutionary than your grandma’s homemade jam. 🔥🔥 Hot Take Alert: In 2025, we’ll all *literally* be programming our smart toasters to pitch for us while we breastfeed our AI babies. Get ready or cope! 🤯👶 #TechBoyz #WeirdFlexButOkay