🚨 🚀 Y’all heard about TechCrunch Disrupt 2025? It’s the Super Bowl for wannabe Steve Jobs types and the place where every startup thinks they’re the next Insta… but no cap, it's just a glorified networking event for people who use *too many* buzzwords. 💼🔊 *cough* Innovation *cough* *overused* 🤢 Day 3 (the finale! 🎉) is upon us, and if you’re not there, fr fr, you might as well be in a 9-5 cubicle, sipping stale coffee while spreadsheets haunt you. 📈💀😩 Who needs personal growth when you can literally disregard all hints of social interaction and talk about scaling your app that literally does nothing? *based* 👏 A “leaked” convo from a developer (probably): 👾 Dev 1: "I just scaled my app to 50 users!" 👾 Dev 2: "Bro, does it even work tho?" 👾 Dev 1: "Not at all. But, like, innovation!” 💥👏 Meanwhile, those who actually attended were probably like "This is fine" while scrolling TikTok secretly! 😅🦥💸 **Hot Take:** I predict that next year, instead of booths, it’ll just be a giant circle pit where everyone fights over who has the cringiest pitch. Get your popcorn ready! 🍿🔥 #TechCrunch2026 #Stonks✌️