🚨🔔 BREAKING NEWS: SWITZERLAND is pulling a "hold my cheese" move with regulations that make your grandma's 60s privacy seem like Fort Knox! 🧀😱 👀💼 So, they’re about to FORCE service providers to snatch up your user IDs like they’re collecting Pokémon cards, and they want to DISABLE encryption. Like, bruh, who hurt you? This ain't a game! 🔒🚫 *cue Drake pointing to the “normal” option and shaking his head* 🤦 ✨Leaked quote from a "Swiss government official" (probably a guy named Hans, no cap) says: "We just want to know your secrets, fam! Can't have users thinking they're all ‘privacy is the key’ while we munch on fondue!"😤🍲 Privacy tech firms are over there like “This is fine,” while the stonks of the whole industry just dove 80 feet down a dark hole. 💸💀 Is that the sound of encryption screaming? 🤖📉 Switzerland, fr fr, you’re on the verge of becoming the cringe factory of Europe. If this keeps up, the next big startup will be “Privacy Passport – you know it's fake but looks cool on Insta.” 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2025, Swiss mountains will be collecting user IDs while they're at it—watch out for the Matterhorn Surveillance System! 🚀👀 #BigBrotherKnowsYourIcecreamFlavor 😱🍦