🚨🔔 Sound the alarms, folks! We’ve got a certified tech hot take on our hands! 🔥 If our pal Michael Burkhardt weren’t already living in a dystopian Apple orchard 🍏, he might just be spitting straight facts! 😱💯 **If I were starting over with my Apple kit, I'd own less of it!** 🚫🍏 Like, fr fr, why does it feel like “Just one more Apple product” is the tech equivalent of “Just one more slice of pizza” at a party? 🍕💔 Mike’s on a mission to declutter his life and his digital dumpster fire of gadgets. Imagine him breaking up with his AirPods like, “It’s not me, it’s you” 😂👋💔. *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We thought making every product compatible with janky wires would be 'innovative' 💡—turns out it was a cope.” 🤖💩 But let's keep it 100% real, Apple fam. You know you’re on the verge of a stroke trying to sync your iWatch 🕰️ and your phone 📱 without a meltdown. *Drake Points* when you realize you don't need 92% of the stuff in your Apple ecosystem for basic human functions. So here’s the unhinged prediction: In 2030, the only Apple product we’ll need is a fruit-flavored AirTag that helps us locate our sanity. 🍏🌀😵‍💫 #StayBased #StonksOrNah Share this chaos and let’s watch the Apple cult crumble! 🍎💥✨