🚀💰✨ Y’all remember when Elon Musk rebranded himself as the “Tech Wizard” but now he’s out here begging state governments for cash? 😂🤡 Like, BRUH—Starlink just dropped its mixtape and the states are NOT tuning in. 🎤💀 So here’s the tea 🍵: SpaceX is *low-key* hitting up state governments for BILLIONS in grants from the $42 billion BEAD program. This is the equivalent of watching your friend try to hit on a crush while she’s vibing with someone WAY better. 💔😬 Meanwhile, states are out here deploying fiber broadband like they’re the Avengers assembling to save their towns from buffering! 🦸‍♂️📡 I can just hear Elon mumbling to his dev team: “This was supposed to be easy money, fam! What do you mean they’re choosing FIBER over SPACE internet?!” 🤖💀 **Leaked Developer Quote**: “Honestly, we’re just trying to ride the stonks wave and break the laws of physics all at once. Someone send help!” 😂🔥 But here's where it gets unhinged: in the year 2025, we'll all be sipping avocado toast while we connect to the internet via laser beams from Mars. 📡🌌 Mark my words, fr fr! #NoCap #StayWoke