🛑🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨🛑: Spotify is SAVING parents from their kids' musical CRIMES because holy stonks, the kids' Spotify Wrapped is basically a cringe compilation of TikTok bops and nursery rhymes! 😂💀 Introducing *Spotify Managed Accounts*, the ultimate parental control tool that ensures lil' Timmy won't hijack your vibe with his *Baby Shark* playlist! 🦈🎶 Instead, you can keep your sweet, sweet bangers intact for your own *Rage Against the Algorithm* fueled workout playlists! 💪🔥 “Bro, I JUST got my Spotify Wrapped and my son is out here using my account to listen to 5-hour bedtime lullabies,” said an anonymous dad we assume was weeping into his coffee. ☕😩 “This is worse than the time I tried to explain NFTs to grandma! 🤦‍♂️” With the rollout in the US, UK, and even Canada (EH, eh?), parents can kick back as kids are assigned their very own ‘sub-accounts’ where they can blast their *Baby Shark* and “Let It Go” jams to their heart’s content—while you sip your *Chill Vibes Only* latte! ☕✨ 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION TIME 🔥: In 5 years, Spotify will fully morph into a social media platform where 5-year-olds drop fire mixtapes and parents are the boomer jury! Get ready for “Lil’ Timmy vs. The Algorithm” – it's going to be EPIC! 🚀🤖💣