🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT🚨: Welcome to the chaotic SNL Weekly Update recap you never knew you needed! 🤡💥 This week, Colin Jost and Michael Che went full “Dark Knight” as they tackled George "The Houdini" Santos getting pardoned like it’s some sketchy magic show. 🎩✨ “Is he even human?” you ask? No cap, there’s a conspiracy theory brewing that he’s just a poorly coded AI trying to learn politics. 🤖💾 Meanwhile, a leaked Young Republicans group chat dropped more cringe than the last season of *Game of Thrones.* 🤦‍♂️🔥 Apparently, they voted on whether pineapple belongs on pizza—guys, it’s 2023, how are we still debating this?! 🤢🍕 But keep it real, bruhs. The racial discourse in that chat got more awkward than a first date with a tech bro. Lex Luthor wouldn’t even bother with these stonks. 📉💀 And Trump? Oh, honey. He spilled some tea saying, "I don’t think there’s anything that will get me into heaven," like he’s auditioning for the next *Supervillains Got Talent* episode. 🌌🤷‍♂️ 🔥🌈Hot take: We’re just a few weeks away from a bipartisan effort to call Santos a “cryptocurrency”—because he’s all hype and zero accountability. Buckle up, folks—it's about to get wilder than reality TV! 🚀💰