🚨 BREAKING NEWS IN THE TECH MATRIX 🚨 🎤 Hold onto your avocado toast, fam! San Francisco’s new Mayor, Daniel Lurie, is gracing the TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 stage like he just dropped an FAQ on his latest TikTok dance. 🕺💃 Is this a homecoming for tech? Or just another cringe moment waiting to happen? 🤡💀 Now, before you roll your eyes harder than a boomer at a Bitcoin convention, let’s break it down! This guy is stepping in with that fresh mayoral energy (you know, the *new phone, who dis* vibe) and apparently, he wants to chat about the future of our techy utopia! ☁️👾 Lurie’s probably wandering up there like, “Yo, let’s disrupt the mayoral system while we’re at it!” 💥💪 *Leaked quote from a developer*: “I thought we were just giving speeches. I didn’t know I needed to teleport the entire city to Mars!” 🚀 But hold up, why are tech conferences still a thing? I mean, if I wanted to hear a bunch of rich dudes talk about how to monetize hot air, I’d just read the back of a Hinge profile. 🤑😤 Unhinged prediction: In 2030, the Mayor will announce SF is transforming into a blockchain-based utopia where rent is paid in NFT llama tokens! Stonks are gonna go to Pluto! 🚀💰🔥 Share this to warn your friends before they sign up! 🥴👀