🚨💥 Salesforce JUST dropped their Q2 report, and it’s basically just a lukewarm cup of coffee ☕️😴. I mean, a 10% YoY revenue UP to $10.2B sounds great until you peek under the hood and see the stonks 🚀 are crashing! CRM dipped over 4% like it just saw its ex at a party. 💔💀 But wait, there’s more! Their net income's up by 32% (shoutout to the finance department for hitting the gym 💪💰) but they forecast Q3 revenue that’s looking as promising as a soggy sandwich 🥪🤦‍♂️. Apparently, their AI product is still in “learning how to walk” mode, which is precisely the moment you want to dump a ton of dosh into it 🤖💸. One leaked quote from a developer was “I thought this was supposed to be a tech company not a guessing game, fam” 😂💀. So what does this mean? Well, brace yourselves for an almighty Q3 dumpster fire 🔥🔥 where Salesforce tries to convince us it’s “fine.” Spoiler: it’s NOT! 🔥 Unhinged Prediction: In 2025, Salesforce will rename itself to “SalesGhost” because they’ll literally be haunting the CRM space with their spooky projections! 👻💀💥 #BasedOnNothing #IRLNotIDL