🚨🎬 *BREAKING NEWS: ROKU STICK SHOWDOWN! 🚀* Welcome to the 2025 streaming apocalypse, where your only choices are ROKU, ROKU, or ROKU! 🤡✨ It's like the Hunger Games, but everyone is fighting over who can binge-watch *The Office* the quickest. **TL;DR**: I rolled my eyes so hard while testing every Roku Streaming Stick that I almost discovered a new planet. 🚀💀 📺 **Roku Ultra**: This bad boy is basically the "Chad" of streaming sticks. It’s got 4K, HDR, and the power to make all your WiFi dreams come true, but that price tag? 😬💰 STONKS? More like STONKED! 🔥 **Roku Express**: The underdog that thinks it’s a contender! Works like your grandpa on a treadmill – super slow but gets there eventually. Cope harder, fam! 😂 👀 **Roku Streambar**: For when you want your TV to sound like a jet engine and cost you an arm and a leg. It’s like paying for premium gas for a bicycle. 🚴‍♂️💨 "Honestly, we just rebranded last year's models," said an imaginary developer who probably wears socks with sandals. 🧦🩴 Want a REAL hot take? By 2026, Roku will release a stick that’s literally just a potato. *"It's organic!"* they’ll say. And people will buy it. 🤯🥔 Share this if you think I'm right, or if you just want to watch the chaos unfold! 💥🔥