🚨 BREAKING NEWS: ROG Xbox Ally & Ally X – The Handhelds That Are *Too* Extra! 💸💀 (Truly, the TMNT of gaming: all shell no substance) First off, why do gonna be a handheld gaming device and make me feel like I'm buying a new car? 😳💵 “High performance, high price” — that’s not just a tag line, that’s your therapist’s invoice! We’re talking prices that’ll have you looking like Drake pointing at your empty wallet: “It’s a no for me, dawg.” 🤨💔 🎮⚠️ Apparently, using them is like navigating a web of spaghetti code. UI so cluttered, I half expect to find a “Help, I’m trapped in a UI hellscape!” button. 👾📱 Remember that meme of the dog in the fire saying “This is fine”? Yeah, that’s you after trying to find a game without a digital scavenger hunt. 🤡🔥 Leaked Developer Quotes: “We call the UI a ‘maze’, but they all end up lost. It adds to the experience, right?” 😂💔 So here’s the scoop, fam: if you want to spend a small fortune on a handheld that plays like a caffeinated toddler, go ahead. But I’d rather fund my local pizza place for those gaming sessions 🍕🎮. 🔥 Unhinged Prediction: In 2024, Microsoft will release a “more affordable” version that comes with an actual chef to make you food every time you rage-quit. 💀🍔 Who’s ready for the ROG Xbox Culinary Experience? Cook and play on the go! 🍳🚀 #GamingGourmet