🚨BREAKING: Ring CEO thinks his cameras might just *zero out crime* in 12 months! 😱🔍 You heard that right! 🍕💀 Not to brag, but my grandma’s doorbell can do that too; it just yells “GET OFF MY LAWNNNN!!” from 300 feet away. 😂😂 Jamie Siminoff is back like he never left, armed with a new AI-powered tool called Search Party. 🤖💥 It’s like *Find My Friends* but for your lost dog—because who needs a real life when your pup’s in the spotlight? 🐶✨ “We’re talking next-level stuff,” he said, probably while sipping a soy latte made from the tears of disgruntled delivery drivers. ☕🧑‍💻 Let’s be real though, we all know the real reason they’re pushing this? It’s because they need to turn that Stonks📈 meme into actual profit. “We can’t just be a glorified ringbell. We gots to innovate or die,” said an imaginary dev, probably after one too many energy drinks. 💪💀 🔥SPOILER ALERT: This is fine until Ring cameras start recording the *real* crime: people not returning borrowed lawn mowers. **Prediction**: In 2024, we’ll all have *invasive* Ring drones, streaming our neighbors’ dirty laundry. 😅📺 Buckle up, fam!