🚨BREAKING NEWS FROM THE VACCINE VERSE! 🚨 So, apparently, Bobby "I’m not a scientist, but my aunt's friend’s cousin said..." Kennedy Jr. is now the grand wizard of the CDC (that’s the Centers for Chaos and Delusions for you non-familiars) 🤡🤷‍♂️. In a shocking twist that sounds like a parody from *The Onion*, he's decided that Dungeons & Dragons should take precedence over actual science, and he's ready to roll back lifesaving vaccines for kiddos—because who needs evidence when you have *feelings*? 💭💔 Former CDC queen bee, Susan Monarez, basically sat down in front of Congress like “This is fine” while her head is on fire, spilling tea about how RFK won’t even chat with the nerds who, ya know, STUDY THIS STUFF FOR A LIVING 🤦‍♂️💥. 💡 Leaked quote from an insider: "We're just waiting for Bobby to show us his diploma from TikTok University." Meanwhile, the Senate is out here looking like the Drake meme—because they KNOW they’re not taking this seriously 🤦‍♀️🤙. 🚀🔮 Hot take: The world is hurtling towards a timeline where *all* medical advice is governed by TikTok trends and influencers. Get ready for “Dr. Snack Doodles” to prescribe kale smoothies as a cure for everything! 🤯🔥 #stayingvaxxed #thisisfine #notyourdoctor #chaosmachine