🎮💀 **BREAKING: Resident Evil 9 – The Return of the *Kinda* Scary!** 💀🎮 🚨 *Alert! The Resident Evil 9 Requiem team just claimed they’ve turned everyone's favorite zombie apocalypse into a David Fincher flick* 🍿👻 — because nothing screams "strong story" like a guy named Leon shooting people while crying over his lack of therapy! 💔💥 💪 The plot twists will make you stronger than your last gym session! 💣 Built to lure in noob Gamers™️, this game is basically “Survivor: Raccoon City Edition.” 🏝️😂 But seriously, fam, we’ve got a turf war brewing between the First-Person Squad and the Third-Person Crew—like that one time Drake pointed at the cringe first-person shooters in disgust! 😂🤖 Developer BOB (totally real): *“We’re just hoping to avoid more *this is fine* moments while the world burns around us! 🔥”* But you know the vibes: Resident Evil like it's the sequel to *The Social Network*—“Um, I think you’re going in the wrong direction, cap!” 🚀💸 🔥 **Unhinged Prediction:** Buckle up, gamers—this game might just end up giving us the ‘Stonks’ meme for the worst plot twist of all. Prepare your tin foil hats, because it's going to get WILD! 🤡💀🚀 Time to seethe at the lack of RE 5 remaster and hit that retweet like your life depended on it! 🚀💰