🎮💚🐍 Welcome to the mouse-mageddon, brethren! Behold the **Razer Cobra HyperSpeed**: the gaming mouse that’s so basic it makes plain toast look like a gourmet meal! 🤡✨ This bad boy has EVERYTHING you need to frag your friends and steal their snacks. We’re talking 🥳 a lightweight frame (breathe easy, gym bro), clicky switches that are 100% ASMR-approved, AND a whopping *26,000 DPI* - which basically means you can zoom in on Elon Musk’s cringe tweets from 5,000 miles away. 🌌💰 But wait... *3 extra programmable buttons*? Talk about having more buttons than you have friends! 😂 Just kidding, we know you’ve got at least one (that one guy from high school who always wants to squad up). And guess what? You can connect via *Bluetooth or 2.4-GHz*! 🔌 This mouse is like its own WiFi network – just what I needed, more reasons to avoid human interaction. Developer quote leaked: “We didn’t just make a mouse; we made a lifestyle choice. Just don’t look at it too long if you’re not ready for gamer aesthetics.” 😂🤖 So, grab your Cobra HyperSpeed and level up! But lemme tell you, if you thought this thing wouldn’t end up in some meme compilation, you are *r******ng! 🚀💀 🔥 HOT TAKE: In 2024, Razer will release an *even more basic mouse* that strictly does *one* click and calls it the "Razer Simpli-Cobra." Who's ready for THAT chaos!? 💥👀