🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Proton VPN doesn’t log your data, even for free users! And yes, this isn’t just a marketing pitch, it’s been *audited*! 🔍✨ (They didn't even pay the auditors with crypto, YIKES! 😳💰) No cap, it’s like finding out that one of your friends actually returns borrowed stuff instead of ghosting them. They pulled off FOUR audits like the overachievers in school who always remind the teacher that they forgot to collect homework. 🤓📚 #ProtonPerfection But hold up! Are they actually as transparent as my 7th grade diary? 🤡💀 Let’s not forget the time I tried to “not log anyone’s data” while I was binge-watching TikTok and eating chips at 3 AM. (Yeah, I cope by scrolling 🤷‍♂️) One insider “developer” (totally legit here, I swear) told me: “We’re basically the Swiss Army knife of VPNs—only with less gnomes and more non-logging.” 🥴 So, do I trust Proton? I mean, I trust them more than I trust my last delivery driver 🤠. 🔥🚀 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, Proton will start giving away free VPNs with every purchase of their new line of “privacy coffee” that claims to protect your caffeine levels from the NSA! 🤖☕️ Who's in for that stonks? 💸👀