🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE VPN FRONT 💻💨: Proton VPN is trying to get ALL the girls this fall 🍂👀! 🚀 They just dropped a roadmap bigger than my student debt and are ready to serve you FIVE NEW FREE SERVER LOCATIONS like a buffet of internet freedom! 😱🥳 We got Mexico 🇲🇽, Canada 🇨🇦, Switzerland 🇨🇭, Norway 🇳🇴, and Singapore 🇸🇬. More countries than your Tinder matches, folks! No cap! But that’s not all! They’re also flexing a fancy new VPN architecture (whatever that means 🤷‍♂️) and even a command-line interface for Linux users—because why not make your struggles even more intense? 🔥💻 If you thought your life was a cringe TikTok, wait till you see a command line in action! Some anonymous “developer” was overheard saying, “We just want to give users more places to hide from their exes… and, you know, the government.” 👀💀 So here’s the tea: Proton’s got more tricks than a magician at a budget birthday party. 🔮 Next thing you know, they’ll be offering a personal therapist with every subscription! 🤖💰 Hot take: By 2024, VPNs will start including spiritual healing sessions because you’ll need them after navigating this digital mess! 🤪💀🔥