🚨💰 The PROTON EXPLOSION is HERE! 💰🚨 Listen up, tech warriors! You know that gut-wrenching moment when you realize some shady hacker’s making stonks off your personal data? It’s like a plot twist in a horror movie! 😱💀 Well, buckle up, buttercup, because Proton just dropped the *Data Breach Observatory* to save your digital behind! 🔍✨ No cap, this is like having a Bat-Signal, but for your stolen credit card info. Instead of waiting for Have I Been Pwned to hit you with that “oopsie” notification, Proton’s serving hot gossip and alerting you in REAL-TIME! 🚀🔥 It’s like getting a text from your crush, but instead, it’s just hackers selling your social security number. 👨‍💻 "I thought I was safe," grumbled a dev in our *totally real* interview. "But now I have this new tool, and it’s like, am I working for Proton or just my own demise?" 🤷‍♂️💔 But let’s get real, fam: if your data lands on the dark web, what’s next? A personalized ad for “how to avoid the cringe of being hacked”? 🤡🤖 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: With Proton leading the charge, we will soon see a TikTok dance challenge about data breaches, and the winner gets a free *I’m Not Pwned* T-shirt! It’s gonna be lit, fr fr! Spread the word, or you might end up in the mega cringe chamber! 🥴💃 #DataBreachesForDays