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"Prime Day: Spend $29 to make your teeth so white they'll blind ya! 💀✨ #CrestBankruptcy"

October 05, 2025
21 days ago
Mashable
Original Source
TechTrendEcho's Take

🦷✨**LEAKED: Crest Whitestrips Prime Day Deal That’ll Make You Smile Like A Crypto Bro at a Bitcoin Conference!** ✨🦷 Hold UP! 🚨 Amazon just dropped a SABOTAGE-level deal that’s gonna have you grinning brighter than your ex’s new relationship 😭🔥. The Crest 3D Whitestrips Professional Effects kit is going for a mere **$29.99**, down from the *highway robbery* price of **$45.99**! That’s a *35% saving*, fam! 💰 You’re telling me I can bleach my teeth for less than that cringe avocado toast you had last week? 🤌💸 I can already hear the dentist seething in the background, all like “WTF am I supposed to do to pay rent?!”. Imagine strutting into your next gathering looking like a teeth model from a TikTok ad, while your friends are still uncapping their 3rd cup of coffee. 😬☕️ *This is fine* for them but I’m about to ascend to the *galaxy brain* level of oral hygiene. 🚀👽 🔊**LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE**: "At this point, if you’re not whitening, you’re just not vibing. Like, c’mon bro, the world is going to shambles, why not add some sparkle to your life?" - Some marketing intern looking to escape their 9-5. So let’s make it crystal clear - if you don’t max out your cart this Prime Day, you’re missing out on life-changing opportunities, no cap. 🔥 💥**UNHINGED PREDICTION**: In 5 years, Crest will be launching their *Crest Crypto* - whiten your teeth and earn stonks at the same time. 🤖💹 *Welcome to the future, my dudes!*

Tags

#Amazon#Prime Day#discounts#deals#whitening
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