🚨💰💥 *BREAKING NEWS* - Amazon is back at it again! You thought ONE Prime Day was enough? Nah fam, they're dropping TWO!! 🎉📅 Mark your calendars for Oct. 7 & 8 - because Prime Big Deal Days are about to hit harder than that "let's pretend we care about environmentalism" meme at a tech conference! 😤🌍 Wondering what the heck you're supposed to buy? 🤔💸 Well, here's where the real chaos begins. This Prime Day FAQ is basically Amazon's way of saying, "Please, for the love of Bezos, give us your money!" 🙃🤑 💡 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Honestly, we're just trying to figure out how to sell more cat litter without people noticing it's just a rerun of last year's bath towels." 😂🐱💩 Expect everything from air fryers to inflatable pool unicorns to *GASP* a 99% discount on that toaster you definitely don't need. 🤡🔥 So strap in! As you scroll through deals, remember: this is fine! 🐶🔥 But wait—if you actually think you can escape Amazon's grasp, you're about to *seethe* harder than me trying to understand NFT gas fees. 🙃💀 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** In the year 2025, Prime Day will be a national holiday, and we’ll celebrate by collectively staring at 42-inch smart microwaves that can send you motivational quotes while reheating your leftovers. Stonks! 💫📈