🌟🚨YO POKÉFANS! HOLD ONTO YOUR NINTENDO SWITCHES! 🚨🌟 The FIRST PERMANENT Pokémon theme park is dropping in FEBRUARY 2026, and it's gonna be BIGGER than Charizard in a hot spring! 🥵🔥 Say hello to PokéPark Kanto, where dreams are made and wallets are drained faster than my hope for a Shenron plushie! 💸💀 Located inside Yomiuriland (a place you will totally pretend to know about), this ain't your grandma's pop-up attraction. Nah fam, it's a full-on Pokémon paradise! 🌄✨ Gotta pay that extra cash to saunter into the “Pokémon Research Lab” — Basically a glorified door to the coolest virtual petting zoo ever! 🤖💕 In one corner you’ve got Pokémon Forest 🌲 where Pikachu will be vibing, flexing in its “natural habitats” (aka, straight-up farming XP), and in the other corner — Sedge Town 🏙️, where you can buy questionable snacks and like, 5-hour energy drinks at the Poké Mart. #Stonks? Nah, #Cringe! 😩✨ ⚡️“Honestly, we just wanted to see how many people would pay to catch a cold next to a Piplup,” leaked some overworked developer. 😂 🌌 Hot take: By 2030, this park will be a fully-functioning economy where everyone trades physical items like it’s Black Friday at Wal-Mart! Mark my words, I'll be selling rare Pokémon plushies like it’s Wall Street! 📈👉🔥 Share if you’re down to live the PokéLife! 🤪💥