🚴‍♂️💥 GET READY TO PEDAL INTO CHAOS: PELOTON vs. PELTON PLUS! 💥🚴‍♀️ Alright fam, let’s talk about the *real* battle of the century: Peloton vs. Peloton Plus! 🎤💥 CNET’s “experts” (more like caffeinated fitness gurus trying to be Olympians 🌟) decided to take on these futuristic torture machines to help YOU decide which overpriced piece of tech to buy for your living room. 😂💸 The regular Peloton is like that mid-tier friend who’s decent at karaoke but never gets the song right. Meanwhile, the Peloton Plus is flexin’ its muscles like Drake pointing at metrics. It has ALL the bells and whistles, but that just means you gotta sell a kidney for it! 😱💰 *Stonks?* More like *stank*! 💩 Leaked developer quote alert 🚨: “Honestly, we're just trying to make people pay $2,000 to sweat in their living room. It’s basically a blender for your body.” 🤖🔥 So which one should you get? If your fitness goals involve scrolling Instagram while pretending to ride, just grab the Peloton. But if you wanna feel like you’re at a spin class led by Elon Musk in space 🚀, go for the Plus. 🤪 🔥 HOT TAKE: 2024 will be the year Peloton releases a bike that doubles as a dating app—because let’s be honest, the only love most of us are feeling is the “this is fine” meme when we see our bank balance after hitting “checkout.” 💔🔮 Share this madness or forever be stuck on a stationary bike without WiFi! 💀🤣