🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Paramount+ just took a ✈️ first-class flight to Price-Gouging City! 🚫💸 Buckle up, couch potatoes, 'cause your wallet just took an L! 🙃💰 In a shocking twist that has all of us feeling like we just heard the ending of a season finale nobody asked for, Paramount+ announced they're raising prices for every single streaming plan! 🤦‍♂️ Like, oh wow, who would've thought streaming was actually a luxury? 🤔😅 **Leaked Developer Quote**: "Honestly, our algorithm was just like, 'Why NOT raise prices? The users are basically just here for the nostalgia and cringe-worthy conspiracy documentaries!' 🤖💔" Drake's pointing meme? Yeah, it's yelling, "Paying MORE for *Star Trek: Prolonged Suffering*?! No cap!" Just when you thought it was safe to binge-watch, the prices hit harder than your WiFi cutting out during a cliffhanger. ⚡💀 Meanwhile, Disney+ is like, "Hold my mouse ears!" while Netflix is over there, yelling, "I ain't scared!" 🤡 🔥 **Unhinged Prediction**: In 2025, we’ll all be streaming on *Paramount++* for the low, low price of your firstborn child and a kidney. Who’s in?! 😂🧬👶💀