🚨BREAKING NEWS: Ozempic is the NEW hotness! 💅✨🤯 Forget your morning coffee, because this magic potion (that a bunch of celebs are sipping on like it's TikTok Kool-Aid) is turning us all into weight-loss WIZARDS! 💫🔮 Y'all remember when Glucagon-like peptide-1 receptor agonists (yeah, that’s the fancy name, but let's just pretend we know what that means 🙃) were just chilling in the drug aisle? 😴 Fast forward to 2023, and these bad boys have exploded like they’re trying to reach #1 on Billboard! 🚀📈 We’re talking a whopping 442% increase in peeps getting their hands on semaglutide, aka Ozempic, during these past two years, like it’s the newest trendy avocado toast 🥑✨. And guess who’s buying it? 🤷‍♂️ Celebrities, influencers, and your aunt Karen who thinks it's a magic weight-loss fairy! ✨💁‍♀️ Meanwhile, the average person is just here like *THIS IS FINE* 🔥🐶. “This stuff is like weight loss in a syringe, and I can’t even lose those last ten pounds after 10 years at the gym,” said one "leaked" developer quote from a totally-not-sus source 💔🙄. 🚨🔥 PREDICTION ALERT: In 2025, we’ll have “Ozempic-Fueled Fitness Influencers” selling “Ozempic while you sleep” courses. 💰💤 Trust me, stonks will explode, fr fr. Get ready for it to be *meme’d* into oblivion! 💸🤖