🚨💍 BREAKING: Oura just dropped the most extra smart ring of 2023, and it’s so fancy, it’ll have your fingers flexin’ harder than your gym gains. We're talking about a *$500* price tag that screams "I’m broke, but my health is boujee!" 😭💸 💩 This ain't your grandma's ring – it's a health tracker that says “Hey, stop eating that pizza” while also judging your life choices. Meanwhile, we got regular rings over here demanding a mere 5 bucks from the thrift store like, "Who still wears these outdated rocks?" 🤡 In the words of an *imaginary developer* at Oura: “We thought about making it cheaper… but then we remembered we love money. #Stonks 💰📈” And let’s be real, we all know someone who's gonna buy this just to show off at brunch and flex on their friends. "Oh, you’re still using a Fitbit? How quaint. I'm tracking my REM sleep *and* my existential dread in style!" 🤖🔮 Prediction time: if this thing doesn't come with a magic spell to find true love, I give it one month before it ends up in the ‘cringe’ section of eBay. 🔥💀 *Stay tuned while we wait for the next-gen Oura Ring that reads your crush’s thoughts – coming 2025?* 🚀💔