💥 BREAKING: OREGON vs. TRUMP in a chaotic legal showdown that sounds like the plot of a B-movie! 🎬💀 So, peep this: Our boy Donald Trump stepped off a phone call with Oregon's Governor Tina Kotek and was like, “Why is she so nice? 🤔 This feels like a trap!” The moment he started questioning reality like he was in the Matrix, he decided to whip out his phone 📱 and let loose on Truth Social, because nothing says *presidential* like throwing shade on social media. 🥴🔥 Now, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth comes in hotter than a summer day in Arizona with a memo saying, “SURPRISE! 200 members of the Oregon National Guard are being sent to Portland! 🚀” Oregon’s like, “Uh, excuse us? We’re taking you to court like it’s a family Thanksgiving argument.” 🎉📜 Leaked convo with a "government official": 🗣️ “Should we really deploy? 👨‍💼 “Bro, it’s Trump. If he tweets it, we do it! 💀 “Just let the chaos unfold. We need content!” In the midst of all this, I'm just here thinking: what if this is all a viral marketing stunt for the TikTok reboot of *The Office*? 🤯💰 Here’s my hot take: the final boss battle won't be in a courtroom—it's going to be an epic rap battle between Trump and Kotek! 🥊🎤 Mark my words, it’s going to go STRAIGHT to the stonks! 🚀🔥✨