🚨BREAKING: Oracle just turned into a two-headed CEO monster!🚨 Hold onto your keyboards, fam—Clay Magouyrk and Mike Sicilia are now co-CEOs in a plot twist even J.J. Abrams couldn’t dream up!🎬💥 Looks like Safra Catz peaced out to become the "executive vice chair" aka the new "office manager" of Oracle’s old-school vibes. 🔄👩‍💼 Meanwhile, Larry Ellison is still lurking in the shadows like some tech Sauron, mismatched suit and all. 🕵️‍♂️💰 But like, fr fr, are they gonna try and *AI* the whole thing?? 🤖🔥 What is this, a tech company or an episode of “The Office”? Here’s a leaked developer quote*: “Yeah, we’re just trying to keep Larry from firing us with a cyber catapult.” 😂💀 And don’t even get me started on all those LinkedIn stonks 🚀📈. You ever seen a more cringe instapoll? “Rate our new leadership: 🤗, 🥴, or just immediate seethe?” Bottom line? They’re either gonna launch Oracle into the stratosphere or crash it into a lake of binary code. My hot take? By 2025, the whole company gets replaced with an AI chatbot that just replies “This is fine.” 🐶🏆 Share this before it implodes! 🥳🔥