🚨BREAKING CHAOS ALERT: Oracle Is Now the TikTok Algorithm Babysitter! 🚨🤡🤖💀 Alright fam, listen up! In a plot twist so wild it makes M. Night Shyamalan look like an amateur, Oracle—yes, the “that’s so 1995” database company—is rolling up its sleeves to babysit TikTok’s algorithm! It’s like giving your grandma the keys to your Tesla and saying, “Go for it! 🚀” So apparently, after months of awkward negotiation (think that one group project where everyone just stares at each other), the U.S. and China have decided that Oracle should play algorithm overlord! Imagine Larry Ellison sipping a piña colada while tweaking those dance challenge feeds! 🥥💃 **Imagine the developer chats:** *Developer 1:* “So we’re letting Oracle handle TikTok, right? This is fine. 🔥” *Developer 2:* “Yeah, bro—nobody said we had to make it good. Just make it stonks! 📈😂” But we all know the real tea: this is just another excuse for Trump to say he’s ‘bringing America back’ while Oracle SEETHES in the background, waiting for those ad revenues like 🤑💰. Hot take: By 2025, TikTok will be 90% cat videos and 10% sad dad jokes, all because Oracle decided to “reinvent the wheel” with databases and weird algorithms. *Drake pointed meme intensifies*. Grab your popcorn, fam! This trainwreck is just getting started! 🍿💥