🚨🔥💀 BREAKING: OneTrust Trying to Break Up with $4.5 Billion 💰💔 So get this, fam: OneTrust, the “privacy police” of the digital world, just can’t decide if it wants to hang out with the cool kids or just quietly fade into the abyss of software failures 🤡. Last seen flexing a whopping $4.5 BILLION valuation, they’re now swiping right on private equity dudes like it's a dating app 😂. "Sorry, but we’re just not that into you… unless you have cash," said some anonymous dev, or maybe I made that up 🤷‍♂️. But fr fr, they were riding high on Europe and the U.S. deciding they actually care about your data—not just for selling ads but like, literally caring (can you believe?!). Meanwhile, investors are out here like Drake pointing at their stonks 📈 while furiously refreshing the news for the *next big thing*. If OneTrust gets snatched up, get ready for a hilarious plot twist; they’ll probably go from ‘privacy hero’ to ‘corporate villain’ faster than you can say “GDPR." 🚀💀 Crisis mode: ON. New prediction: OneTrust will pivot to selling “ethical” NFTs next year. Mark my words. This is the chaos we ALL need! 😵‍💫🔥